Time to laugh: You Know You've Been Querying Too Long When...

Current Theme Song (aka what's playing on my ipod right now): Roll to Me by Del Amitri.

I will not verify which of these apply to me. :)


When you have unintentionally memorized most of the zip codes in New York City.

When you know your entire query letter word-for-word by heart, including the personalization for each new agent.

When you know and have bookmarked agent horror stories and reread them occasionally so you know you're doing something right.

When 30+ queries for a project doesn't seem like a lot anymore.

When you have a turbo bag of M&Ms (or other like candy) by your computer on hand when you check your emails in case any new rejections have come in.

When you are so numb to the process you don't need candy anymore.

When a rejection from an agent results in a near-immediate turn around to another agent in that same agency.

When you know exactly which agencies don't want you to do said turnaround.

When you have separate files on your computer for "BOOK PROJECT TITLE -" 1 page, 5 pages, 10, 30, 50, 75, 100 and full - for easy pull-up when an agent asks for the equivalent.

When you think you've found a new agent, but their email comes in the dropdown box as a prompt.

When three months of waiting no longer seems like forever.

When you plot family vacations around various conferences and use BEA as an excuse for a romantic getaway alongside serious agent/author/publisher/blogger networking and hopeful pitch sessions.

When you try and convince your significant other that it is really is a romantic getaway and that books are seriously sexy. :)

When you can talk with other aspiring authors and drop agent/editor names and you both pick up on it without a beat and talk as if you know them personally (that's a sign for both of you, by the way).

When a partial request is a nice thing, but nothing to get excited over anymore.

When a request for a full still gives a thrill of joy (I don't think that one ever goes away).


When you have to laugh and shake your head at the insanity and impossibility of it all, but you still love it anyway and cannot dream of doing anything else.


Tere Kirkland said...

Have you been watching me? That explains all those times I thought I heard someone laughing when I was reading the same agent blogs over and over again. ;)

Shannon Whitney Messenger said...

LOL Heather. Way to turn a stressful, frustrating process into something we can all laugh at. :)

Dana Cheryl said...

Have you read Stephen King's biography/how to write book? He's included a few hilarious stories about queries...

Vivian said...

You have a great attitude! Keep on sending the queries out and you will hear good news!

Heather Zundel said...

Tere - *looks around* I, uh, don't know what you're talking about. ;)

Shannon Messenger - Exactly. Then it isn't horrible, but a game. :)

Dana Cheryl - No (probably shouldn't admit that), but with that and all the good advice in there, I may have to.

Vivian - Thanks! I certainly try. I keep the little engine that could on perma-repeat on my playlist. ;) And that is exactly what we're hoping for. And good luck with your writing too!