The Secret Adventures of WriterGirl

Current Theme Song (aka what's playing on my ipod right now): Into the West by Annie Lennox.
























I never met her. But all the same, that inextricable link between writer and reader was bridged long ago and I feel like I have know her for years. I wish I could be among the ranks of those honored enough to have known her. Pratricia Wrede thinks of her as the best kind of witch. Emma Bull remembers what it was like to be with such an absolutely electric personality. Neil Gaiman calls her a friend. To meet such a mind and a soul must have been something powerful and at the same time instantly natural, like family.


Her books reopened my imagination and gave to me the full idea of possibility. I will forever be indebted and grateful to her for that. She gave me the peculiar and the wonderful, the unique and the powerful. She showed me the strange, and that it was perfectly okay.


So many have said it better, and this is a weak memorial in comparison to those who knew her and who have written it far better, but I would not leave my voice out for all the words we know or stars in the sky. Like so many girls growing up, I was in need of hope, and strength, and a way to expand my view of the world and see it in a was I had never thought of before. Diana Wynne Jones gave that to me in rich abundance and so much more. In her stories there was almost always something there, something deeper and hidden behind the curtain, but she left it up to you to discover it. Nothing was ever simple, and rarely what it seemed on the surface. I imagine she herself was like that.


Thank you, Diana. For all you gave to those lucky enough to know you, personally, or like me, through the pages of a book. You changed me in more ways than I can here say.



I think another blogger concluded it well:

I fancy that Fantasyland has fallen very quiet today. And that every pennon of every castle, from the Tower of Sorcery to the Dark Citadel, has been lowered to honour the passing of the queen of fantasy.

Current Theme Song (aka what's playing on my ipod right now): Cymbeline by Lotreena McKennitt.




Horses.


Oh yes. It is awesome.

Horses are of a breed unique to Fantasyland. They are capable of galloping full-tilt all day without a rest. Sometimes they do not require food or water. They never cast shoes, go lame or put their hooves down holes, except when the Management deems it necessary, as when the forces of the DARK LORD are only half an hour behind. They never otherwise stumble. Nor do they ever make life difficult for Tourists by biting or kicking their riders or one another. They never resist being mounted or blow out so that their girths slip, or do any of the other things that make horses so chancy in this world. For instance, they never shy and seldom whinny or demand sugar at inopportune moments. But for some reason you cannot hold a conversation while riding them. If you want to say anything to another Tourist (or vice versa), both of you will have to rein to a stop and stand staring out over a VALLEY while you talk. Apart from this inexplicable quirk, horses can be used just like bicycles, and usually are. Much research into how these exemplary animals come to exist has resulted in the following: no mare ever comes into season on the Tour and no STALLION ever shows an interest in a mare; and few horses are described as geldings. It therefore seems probable that they breed by pollination. This theory seems to account for everything, since it is clear that the creatures do behave more like vegetables than mammals. It also explains why ANGLO-SAXON COSSACKS and DESERT NOMADS appears to have a monopoly on horse-breeding. They alone possess the secret of how to pollinate them.

And there isn't any entry on Fairies/Faeries, Susan! I was absolutely shocked. But I also have the original version. I'll get the newer copy from my library and tell you if that one has an update!

Current Theme Song (aka what's playing on my ipod right now): Undisclosed Desires by Muse.



Besides creating strange and wonderful worlds for me to discover, Diana Wynne Jones left me another legacy, this one with far more practical application. If you couldn't guess from my blog's title, I am a writer. And if you didn't guess from yesterday's post about Howl's Moving Castle, I love fantasy. I love the idea of having possibility at your fingertips. The problem is, many stories of pure possibility fall into ruts.

Who has ever heard of the knight saving the princess story? Or how about the young, poor boy who falls in love with the princess story? I'm sure there are some more than a few ruts about pirates, prophecies, and heirs to the kingdom stories too.

That is where The Tough Guide to Fantasyland came in.

I've heard from quite a few sources that this was originally meant to be a companion book to her novel The Dark Lord of Derkholm. But it has since become something of an underground bible for fantasy writers.

It navigates you through almost every trope and cliche in the fantasy genre. And it is hilarious. I dare you to read this and not be on the floor gasping for air by the end. (Seriously, if I'm ever having a bad day, I pull this out and read a few entries. I feel better almost immediately. It's like cure-all).

Just like a travel guide brochure, it tosses you right into the action. With OMTs (Official Management Terms) and helpful cross references marked in CAPS for easier accessibility, it is a breeze. The Management (the author) has made this available to make your tour (the novel in question) easier. And from that you begin.

I'm not going to speak any more, because you'll know from the entries why this has become an underground gold mine for so many.


Incidents should happen at regular intervals on every tour. You should not be able to travel more than fifty miles without something happening. Usually the start small and work up to big,
1. Small Incidents include: AMBUSH (by BANDITS or LEATHERY-WINGED AVIANS); BETRAYAL, arrest by Imperial GUARDS; attack by prehensile TREES; SEX with a Tour Companion; an encounter with a WIZARD/DRAGON/MINION OF THE DARK LORD/Fortune Teller; bad WEATHER; crossing a RIVER; an arrow shot suddenly from nowhere (it will miss everyone and stick in a tree); stealing something from a MONASTERY/TEMPLE; a near-fatal visit from VAMPIRES in the night; stumbling into QUICKSAND...

Government in Fantasyland is another word for KING or TYRANT. Most AVERAGE FOLK seem to get on perfectly well without any of it.
See also POLITICS.

Weather is always wrong for what you are doing at the time. It varies from heat/drought, if you must travel quickly, to heavy rain, if you just need to travel. If you need to sleep rough, there is always a frost; invariably, if you have to cross MOUNTAINS, there will be a thunderstorm or blizzard. Some of the reason is that, despite obvious drawbacks, the Management nearly always arranges for Tours to set out in late autumn or early winter (see SEASONS). The rest is natural perversity. Weather is, too, remarkably apt to reflect the emotions of the Tour party. It is sullen and gray if the party is quarreling among itself, bright and springlike if everyone is happy. It is also very susceptible to MAGIC, particularly at sea, where STORMS can be raised in instants (see STORM CONTROL), and in DESERTS, where dust storms can be created almost as quickly. The general advice here is to keep smiling and avoid annoying WIZARDS.

Stew (the OMTs are thick and savory, which translate as "viscous" and "dark brown") is the staple FOOD in Fantasyland, so be warned. You may shortly be longing passionately for omelette, steak, or bakes beans, but none of these will be forthcoming, indoors or out. Stew will be what you are served to eat every single time. Given the disturbed nature of life int his land, where in CAMP you are likely to be attacked without warning (but see BATH) and in an INN prone to be the center of TAVERN BRAWL, Stew seems to be an odd choice as staple food, since, on a rough calculation, it takes forty times as long to prepare as a steak. But it is clear the inhabitants have not yet discovered fast food. The exact recipe for Stew is of course a Management secret, but it is thought to contain meat of some kind and perhaps even vegetables. Do not expect a salad on the side.

Legends are an important source of true information. They always turn out to be far more accurate than HISTORY... But no matter how improbably the story, it will always turn out to be the exact truth and only by following it accurately can you hope to succeed in your QUEST. The Management will never allow anyone to tell you a Legend unless it is going to be important for you to know.



This book at one time was not widely available. I had to pay an obscene price for an old 1996 copy. But in 2006 they released a revised and updated copy, though I must admit I am quite fond of my old cover.





So again, thank you Diana for making my life lighter, my writing better, and teaching me that High Priests are always evil, water is almost always safe to drink (unless given to you by an enchantress), and that everyone thankfully speaks the same language or a "Common Tongue." :)

Current Theme Song (aka what's playing on my ipod right now) Learn to Fly by Foo Fighters.

"In the land of Ingary where such things as seven-league boots and cloaks of invisibility really exist, it is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of the three. Everyone knows you are the one who will fail first, and worst, if the three of you set out to seek your fortunes."

The moment I read those words, I knew I was in for something special and wholly wonderful. When I read them I was in high school and thought I knew everything. First of all stories, and especially any story with smallest fairy tale elements, never happen to the oldest sister. It is a near-cardinal law of the fairy tale universe. It is always the youngest who happens to always always be the prettiest. I hated that. I hated it. I am the oldest and all those stories seemed to teach me was you had to be fair, quiet, a princess (and the youngest princess at that). This was... different. To quote Nightmare Before Christmas, it was something new. Sophie is the oldest and a hat maker, and if that didn't turn my head, her turning into a ninety-year-old woman from a curse by the Witch of the Waste certainly did. So she must take refuge with the lecherous wizard Howl, who is said to eat girl's hearts. But of course, little is as it seems, as is so appropriate to Sophie's appearance.

To see Sophie (and indeed all the cast of Howl's Moving Castle) opened my eyes in a real way of who and what a book character could be. It was as if I had just taken off thick opaque lenses that had covered my entire vision and a much wider world opened up to me.

I knew stories and I knew fairy tales.* The girl was supposed to be sweet and charming and possibly even brave, but kind-hearted and good to the core. The hero would come and they would fall in love. He was dashing and kind. Diana Wynne Jones showed me a girl who were obstinate and contradictive, stubborn and who sometimes screamed and didn't always see things clearly and that was okay. She gave me a girl who fought with her at-the-time unknown love about whether to kill or keep spiders. She showed me a girl who made mistakes (many mistakes) and in turn it only made her more endearing. She showed me - myself. Not that I am that girl, but she gave me someone real, someone unique and someone I felt I knew.

But Diana also gave me something infinitely more valuable with this book. She gave me back my imagination. She took me back to the time when it was new and shiny, completely untouched, where anything within it was possible. I don't know how it happened, I certainly never noticed to slow, gradual closing of my vision, but my imagination became limited to a certain field, as if that was the definition and it knew what imagination and fantasy was.


Through many years (delightful years, mind you) I read story after story about poor orphan boys, and runaway children, chosen kids of prophecy with quests and swords and magical objects of untold power, simple horror stories and mysteries. Simple. Predictable. Safe. They weren't bad. I thoroughly enjoyed them. But they closed my limit of the world.


Then she came in and put a hole in my wall. She didn't come in by force or even in person. She just gave me a book, a story of my own to read, something new. And it changed everything. It blasted that veneer* and gave me castles that could move, doors that could take you different places with the turn of a knob, heroes who oozed green slime when they threw temper tantrums. It was like a breath of new air. Or very old air, because it was like remembering how to imagine again where there were no limits and anything was possible.


And it didn't end there. There were wizards with nine lives, stars who became dogs, good guys assigned to be bad guys for tourist's entertainment from an evil CEO, and so much more.


But this was the first, the first of a great many wonderful stories. And I will be forever grateful and indebted to her for that.











A few favorite quotes from Howl's Moving Castle



"Go to bed, you fool," Calcifer said sleepily. "You're drunk."
"Who, me?" said Howl. "I assure you, my friends, I am cone sold sober." He got up and stalked upstairs, feeling for the wall as if he thought it might escape him unless he kept in touch with it. His bedroom door did escape him.


"Yes, you are nosy. You're a dreadfully nosy, horribly bossy, appallingly clean old woman. Control yourself. You're victimizing us all."


"You've no right to walk into people's castles and take their guitars."


"You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want."


"I feel ill," [Howl] announced. "I'm going to bed, where I may die."


It is quite a risk to spank a wizard for getting hysterical about his hair.


"I'm delirious. Spots are crawling before my eyes."
"Those are spiders."







*I keep comparing this to a fairy tale, but it is not anything like one at all. It has elements common to fairy tales such as three sisters, and magic, and seven league boots, but little else. Like I said, it is something new. :)

Current Theme Song (aka what's playing on my ipod right now): Varuna by E.S. Posthumus




I must tell you about a story and sequel that has not been getting nearly enough love. Silver Phoenix by Cindy Pon is lush, well written and unique because it is a freakin' Asian fantasy for heaven's sake (how often do you see those, seriously?), and it has enough gorgeous descriptions of food that you'll be wanting to clamor into the book to get a taste. <--true statement.

And the sequel, Fury of the Phoenix, comes out on Tues. They are brought to you by the incredible Greenwillow Books, the same team who does such amazing books like Howl's Moving Castle and Megan Whalen Turner's The Queen's Thief series. So you know you're in good hands. And plus, it's been endorsed by Cassandra Clare, if you needed any more convincing. ;)

So here is the trailer for Fury of the Phoenix! I'm also including the trailer for Silver Phoenix because I think it captures the atmosphere and feeling far better (and plus the music to the SP trailer is just swoonworthy). So you get two for the price of one! Have an amazing and fantastic weekend, everyone!